Yay, Though I Walk Through the Valley… – January 11, 2006

Ok, so this isn’t travel, strictly speaking, but it is travel related, and I thought it was worth mentioning here.

When I got back from Dublin at the end of October I made a very disappointing mistake with my passport. In my rush to get settled in again and start living my life here in the states, I threw all of my stuff in the laundry to get all of those nasty European cooties off of them. I’m sure you can see where this is going already. Usually when I get through customs and everything I just stick my passport back in my bag. I tried to make it a habit, that way I always knew where my passport was and I didn’t really have to think about it. Unfortunately, this time I forgot and I just stuck it in my back pocket. So I washed and dried my passport. I dried it on low heat, so at least it didn’t shrink, but it doesn’t really matter because it was essentially destroyed anyway.

I should have done this back in November, but one thing after another sort of drove it out of my mind. So Monday I finally pulled it out of my bag and started showing it around to some old international travel veterans, and they all said that I would have to get it replaced.

Step one of passport replacement is to find a passport office. Thanks to the miracle of the internet (Thanks, Al! j/k) I was able to find one within half a mile of the office. That doesn’t sound too bad, especially since we’re having such unseasonably nice weather right now. So I took off a little early for lunch on Wednesday and proceeded to walk over to the George Allen, Jr. Courts Building for a visit with my friends at the passport office.

Now, I’m not saying that downtown Dallas is dangerous or anything, just that it’s probably best to walk around down there with your head on a swivel. I swear, the thought ran through my head a couple of times, “is this the day that I’m finally going to get to use some of those self defense techniques?” The majority of people roaming around on the streets were people that obviously worked downtown. There was also a smattering of students from El Centro on their way to and from classes. But there was also that special category of crazy people. Like the very destitute couple walking the same direction on opposite sides of the street screaming at each other. Seriously, he was on the right side of the road, she was on the left. Traffic was flowing between them and they were screaming at each other about something or other. Then there was the random guy that was just screaming at everything. At first I thought he was arguing with someone in particular, but then I noticed that there was no one else around. It was just him and his imaginary friend. I’m not positive about it, but I think his imaginary friend might have been winning the fight. There was also that special group of people that just looked dangerous. These are the people that were evicted from hanging out around the downtown McDonald’s a couple of years ago when it was remodeled. And equipped with guards armed with AR-10s.

So the passport office took me for $97. I had to write a note explaining how my passport got in the condition it was in. I said:

To Whom it May Concern:

I damaged my passport by accidentally putting it in the laundry. Who knew that passports and Tide didn’t mix?

Thanks,
LS

My brief stint with the government taught me one thing: beauracracy does not appreciate humor. At least they don’t at the upper middle-managerial levels. I hope someone gets a kick out of my little note though.